The Paintings of My Life

If I Don't Have You

2008-12-01T00:28:00.003+08:00

At the porch, they said their goodbye;between a funeral and a wedding.

She stood there - as did he. Both gazing into each other, her in silence with a small smile while he softly crooned. She leaned over while on the steps and kissed him softly.again.again.again...and again. He stepped in,pulling her in till she's breathing him in.

With his lips in an almost kiss with her ears, he continued, letting his voice trail themselves down her back in an embrace.

If I don't have you
To hold on to
I can't go on in this world alone
Baby it's true
If you say goodbye
Girl I would die
I'm a star with no light
A day with no night
If I don't have you

- Backstreet Boy's If I Don't Have You -

4

2008-11-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

Parties.
Sister.
Girlfriends.
Flings.
Goals.
That was 4 months ago.

Now, I cradle a world.
A world which blooms between our clasped hands.
It started with the little brushes of our fingertips
And defined when both interwined

I’m different yet same,
Not same yet different
(Because that means I don’t think I’ve changed inherently
... I have.)
Parties, sister, girlfriends, goals except for flings are present,
Albeit different.

I’m not sorry
And never will be even if it falls apart.
I’ve learnt too much
I’m just very blessed.
For I’ve found the soul and heart
That fills and drives my world.

That Best Friend & Looking Up

2008-09-28T13:12:00.005+08:00

I was supposed to be doing my homework.The keyword is supposed. As usual.. I ended up scribbling poems instead of writing my essay.Funny thing is... I decided not to join his ninjado class because I wanted to do the essay.

That Best Friend

I've said it then,
I'm saying it now.
You've always been that best firend,
... Tis' a pity we've lost the how

Looking up...

Never within touch,
Just tempting within sight.
In the dark, exceptionally bright.
And when there's nothing much,
or the rhythm's fled,
and the highs comes flat,
That's when it reverberates.

Its the cacophony behind the noise,
That amplifies as the other fades.
Lean back...
Watch the shadows behind eyelids
Let it flit, let it go.
Let the cacophony do its play.

The Last Drink

2008-09-21T23:41:00.004+08:00

We were all drinking, cept for him
Wine from plastic cups, dirt under our feet and then came the hiccups
He was made to get under her skin.
I’m sure their heads’ pounding to the rhythm of Usher’s Red Light
(But the heart’s faster)
They don’t see me in the night,
as his fingers made the first move of sin

Her smile quivered
A tear slipped, from her (and me)

I walked away as he whispers “Please don’t cry. I'm just gonna fly’

I'm putting in words, a memory I stole of you and him. Remember this Sheels? So please don't cry because you're making me cry.

Science

2008-09-08T00:04:00.002+08:00

Moving forward may be backwards.
Progress means missing forests.
The only truth's in fickle facts
Mass produced like toilet rolls.

Of 5

2008-08-25T12:04:00.003+08:00

35 days since the first back-seat talk.
40 days since the first date.
80 days since the first text message.
120 days since the first email

Nowhere near perfect
Somewhere near awesome.

The Conversation

2008-08-16T10:06:00.002+08:00

He called in the wee hours of the morn,
Tis no proper mourning of a friendship lost.
Just a simple ending to a complex problem.
A single knot which unravels all,
And to let the in-betweens come to fall.
Feel the slide of smooth blades,
As fine as strands of his honeyed hair.
From those lines, lies a map of what had fade.
Etched like that tattoo of her name upon his skin.
There’s nothing left to be said.
Only a dial tone on the phone.

2008-08-04T22:29:00.001+08:00

Happy Anniversary ....

Scribbling during accounts... all his fault.

2008-07-26T09:27:00.004+08:00

Spiders climbing up my ladder
With every step, each a shake.
Reality’s shut, senses awake.
Darling, I definitely agree,
There’s kryptonite in every bite.

Connie Talbot's I Will Always Love You

2008-07-16T09:57:00.000+08:00

JJ, this is for you

Gwyneth's Paltrow's Solo in Movie Infamous

2008-07-15T11:24:00.000+08:00

Willow

2008-07-15T10:23:00.002+08:00

If there's one thing in common most English poets share, it is their obsession with willows. Personally, I prefer my swings or that phallic looking playground near Simpang. Yes, it is phallic. Go check it out,.Its opposite Palmwoods and behind the street soccer court. As 'wrong' as it looks, its actually a nice place.You'll have to climb up to the top and that's where you'll feel like you have your own tree house.

Al, this is the Willow poem you wanted me to write BUT not told me why... Doesn't really matter since I was in the mood to write. If you're reading this, PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE DUDE AND CALL YOUR PARENTS.

The willow hangs above the surface,
like a mother's shielding embrace,
sheltering her from the bare
and only letting in the air.
The curtain of green swayed,
All in sync with the wind's play.
Arms wrapped around her knees.
From behind, only one eye sees.
The wind tugged,
Suddenly breaking the willows hug.
The mirror shatters in tiny circles.

Nightmare

2008-07-14T09:30:00.001+08:00

Angel from her nightmare...
He keeps her safe from her scares
For they leave her all torn and bare.
She feels the fingers upon her arch
And the pinpricks of nails that hurts so much.
Though breath and blood she does bleed
Still, it wasn’t what it wants or is it needs?

A glint of silver, a piercing scream
All done in the flickering shadows of candlelight beams.

A familiar scent marks his presence.
To him, to know his face is not her care,
To her, it makes no sense
What is it that seeks to tear?
And who is he who helps her so?

At the Swings

2008-06-27T11:54:00.003+08:00

Last night, I had a swing
As gentle as the breeze that rocked the baby on the tree top,
and sometimes hard enough to make the wee one scream.
Swinging as darkness descends,
and goosepimples crept up my arms,
the words flowed out in a steady stream.
Torrential at first,
before it calms.
But still with certain bursts along the bends
It seemed the tirade would never end ,
until my breaths came out in spurts ,
and my knuckles were white from holding tight.

( My feet scraped the sandy bottom)

The empty silence on my right greeted my landing.
There I stood , simply standing..
(or maybe hoping)

Night's Surgery

2008-05-03T00:26:00.001+08:00

Its 3 to 12.
The body chants 'to bed, to bed'
On the pillow, lays her head
All prepped for Night's surgery.
Somehow tonight, the anesthesia fled
Crimson petals liquefies,bubbles ...splatters
Surgery's morphed into butchery.
The darkness sheds only light,
and thats the time I see you.

2008-03-06T17:50:00.000+08:00

What Latifah Yeo Means

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Photographs

2008-01-19T13:41:00.000+08:00

Frozen in time, alive inside.

Freeze frames of the drama called Life.
Captured, imprisoned, begging for release.

Search for the mythical keys.
She'll be lost in the hive.

Burn it all, the frames remain still.
Up on a hill, they flit and float
Like deaden fireflies hunting for hope.

Cher's Sweet Nothings to Me

2008-01-08T21:42:00.000+08:00

Oh you sweet little thing.... My pumpkin,why are you still awake?The hot and bright sun has gone down to rest, and so should you..My little apple pie,pippy poopy pooh,close your cute cute little eye lids and dream of apples and stars and peaches and cherries in the all fun twinkleland.Go on. Grandpa moon and Aunty star are waiting for you there

Isn't my Cher just sweet?

Rape

2007-12-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

Just your presence and I second guess my sanity
My subterfuge silently shatters,
like little teardrops sliding,
sliding down my fingers as they close
hiding but falling
...failing.

She stands still,
as those fingers peel.
She's there yet unable to feel.
White enamel puncturing for crimson.
The curtain wavers

Its all just not real.

This poem is part of a one-liner game with Dan(She provided the first line and everything else is mine). Check out her work at www.mydailyreads.blogspot.com

Cotton Candy

2007-12-11T09:16:00.000+08:00

Soft,fluffy,innocous
Spin it again and again
The sticky thin tendril, it traps her eye
It wheels her in as it spins
The silk slyly drawing her in
Innocence, hope, dreams and all things nice
She can almost taste its sweetness

A hand reaches out
Desire is held.

Oh! Just only for a moment.
A burst of sweetness,
and it is naught but a ghost.

Seek

2007-11-16T16:55:00.000+08:00

There are no lines without your mind.
Closure will come to you yourself.
Past,present and future melds,
flowing north, south,east and west.
Seek for the answers at the beginning of the start
Only to find an immaculate mess.

Reminisce

2007-10-30T09:24:00.000+08:00

Recently, I was arranging the stack of diaries and notebooks I had, something that should have been done some time back but I was not ready to delve in the past until... last weekend. I laughed. I cried. I smiled every kind of smile one can possibly smile.

One thing struck me at the end of it all. I am such a lucky girl.

I had the best friends any girl can asked for. 2 overbearingly and disgustingly sweet, playful and thoughtful guy pals who doted on me like nobody's business. It doesn't matter if one of them isn't here and will never be here again or that the other will not play a significant part in my life now. What matters is the memories we had.

I'm a lucky girl.

I'm one of those girls who can say my first boyfriend treated me like a princess.

She's chocolate and coke.
She's my Proserpina

He's passionate and arrogant.
He's just like Hades
with a deep pocket and a big heart.

(It was written by both of us years back and looking at it now, it definitely defined us. You could clearly see who the better poet is. He's a good teacher too.).

I'm a lucky girl.

I have a fabulous group of best friends( Nutcases, Mei Yi,Jo ). Not a large group in terms of numbers but large in terms of love. We had and will have more rough moments . It defines 'us'.

And I mustn't forget those from IJC too. It seemed like a poor substitute as compared to the opportunity to study in UK which Alex offered me.It was 2 short years and I did not mingle that well there. Still, people like Ren,Wawa, my 'lover'(winks),Jane,Mrs Naidu, made it a memorable 2 years. I did not leave IJ empty handed.

I'm a lucky girl.

Lastly and most importantly, I have a family ,though overly conservative and protective , they do try their best to give me the best.

Yep, I am a lucky lucky lass.

Somewhere

2007-09-20T11:05:00.000+08:00

Here ,there
Everywhere in nowhere
Numerous roads,
With just one destination.
Life's a circle,
Shrinking till its just a noose.

Missing Mist

2007-09-13T10:41:00.000+08:00

In the midst of mist,
My mind misses most.
Its slow slow haste
and luscious taste of infinity.

Oh, what a dream...

Black Hole

2007-09-05T09:11:00.000+08:00

Myriad of emotions swirling in the depths of my soul,
Picking up speed every damn empty day which repeats like a broken player
As it whirls, it starts to pull.
Stretching till it splinters.

Through my telescope, I am watching.
I watch my black hole swilling on splintered pieces of my soul.

Musings

2007-08-03T10:32:00.000+08:00

"Horses are born but human beings are not-they are formed" Sophie's World. A Novel About the History of Philosophy

Unfortunately there are too many bonnet-totting horses parading around on two legs.

~Musings of the Lat~

The So-called Weed

2007-07-31T22:37:00.000+08:00

Romantic notions defenestrated .
Still, under the ledge, they grew and bloomed.
Implanting its roots slowly and silently in my life,
For everyday, its them I see.
The leaves unfurled and the process starts.
Till one day, a crimson bud peeks out at me.
From seeing to tending.
From indifference to something more.
But the question is...
Is it still mine?

30/07/07
11.55 PM

Sneaking Out

2007-07-31T22:03:00.000+08:00

Its noon at night,
and the moon’s out of sight.
This to me, matters not.

Soft silent steps,
The slow turn of the knob,
And a silent click.

I was out at night
and wasn’t caught.

29/07/07
3.46 am

Conversations...

2007-07-22T21:06:00.000+08:00

I just had to put a quote from one of my conversations with a close friend who has a knack for putting what I feel or am thinking about into words( and she does it so aptly too).

'Every friendship requires effort. Neverthless, but it shouldn't come to a point where you know you've to keep putting in effort to make sure that the other party is never going to stop outsourcing...some relationship is not worth it. Some its beyond worth. We've got to carefully understand the relationship based between you and me, effort put in shoulld be effortless, thats when you know, this friendship is going to sail far wide.'

Still they drift....

Dawn

2007-07-19T16:45:00.000+08:00

A smile's carved with the swing of a pendulum.
The sun peeks into my sanctum.

Sweet Escape

2007-07-05T15:03:00.000+08:00

Lulled by the soft rolls of waves,
the body's languid,
and the mind's adrift.
The cacophony dims,
as the world swirls before her very eyes.
Tangible and intangible coalesce.
The stage a phantasmagoria,
with its actors dancing between her fingers.
She seems filled with a drug-induced euphoria,
Giggling as truth eludes her grip.

All until one pricks her finger.

The Mask

2007-06-19T11:48:00.000+08:00

The smoothness has been marred by cracks
One ,ironically, is like an upturned smile
Later, layered on it was a thick coat of black
Thick, dark,shiny and glossy
Now, its not her nor the clay you see.
Its only you.

3.46 am

Present to Past

2007-06-05T11:40:00.000+08:00

What is past is past
But what is past is present
And its shadow over us it does cast.

Due to you, we're the boat without a mast
But still many oceans we have passed
Though we have been surpassed.
Yet,still we rowed fast.

So now you want to board our boat,
And not even giving a single cent
Because you say do forgive as what's past is past.

But I say whats past is also present,
And its shadow over us it still casts.
To seek forgiveness is never your intention,
for I see it through the mouth but not actions.

To My Nutcases

2007-05-27T15:04:00.001+08:00

Its twelve past twelve.
Our day has simply flew by.
Memories of it are all I have.
It feels like we just said "Hi",
With Buble crooning especially for Dan.
The surprise look, smiles,laughter, hugs
And lets not forget, of loving and being loved.
At my heartstrings, these memories will tug,
For this is one of the happiest I ever had.
If only I could stay in that moment,
Of three against one , gazing up into the sky,
A midnight blanket sprinkled with stars and a moon.
Though I know it will never be the end,
It still felt like the moment was over too soon.
Now as I lay at the very edge of consciousness,
I smile as these words echoed in my mind,
"Nutcases' Jazz Dinner by the pool.
Its so wonderful"

Love,
Lat

Dark vs Light

2007-05-22T15:04:00.000+08:00

Never will she know the winner,
even if she waits forever.
For when it comes to darkness and light,
its a never-ending fight.
When the sun sets, darkness reigns.
Yet, the sun still will rise,
Only for it to set again.
She may wait and gaze till she's dazed.
Still the answer is shrouded with haze...

(Just a little something I wrote on the way home. Kisses to my trusty PDA for always being there !)

Seeking to Tame

2007-05-20T22:07:00.001+08:00

Carnal pleasures, cancer sticks, drugs,
Or maybe Devil's piss is what you chug.
After all, it's the turmoil we wish to tame.
Though hers may not be the same,
It is still the elusive she wishes to seek,
even if for just a peek.
Cause the heart's pierced by a ghostly sword,
Carefully crafted with venom-dipped words
And wielded by her very own blood.

The people you should beware of are the people closest to you because without you suspecting, they'll strike your heart. To them, its so effing easy because your walls are down. Maybe I should be putting it up again. Its no use letting people in when all you receive in return is hurt.

I know you may say the words in a fit of anger but I don't believe you don't mean them. Anger, sometimes, makes you uncontrollable and what comes out is raw,uncensored and so very real. I, together with the rest, wish you good luck. But do remember we'll still be there for you if you need.

In the mean time, I'll put on my ever-present smile and go on my way.

Numbing

2007-05-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

Like waves crashing against the shores in slow motion,
The fog comes rolling in.
It caresses,soothes and lulls the the storm.
It feels almost like heaven.

(Only almost)

Around her, it twines its silken thread of wispy white,
Cocooning her in its seductive apathy.
Its never day nor is it night,
Simply just an in between.
She never felt the tender tendrils of cotton around her neck.
It was all a silent suffocation.

Night

2007-05-16T15:53:00.000+08:00

I love it best when it is night.
I'll wait and stare till lightning strikes
to illuminate my sight with blinding light
I'll sit and wait
Just to see the souls awake

Lost

2007-05-16T12:46:00.000+08:00

LOST

Tick tock.
In and out.
Over and under,
Back and forth,
I still see such filth.
Scrub it hard and make it good,
Still it leaves a stain on my wealth.
Cut it out and throw it out,
Still it leaches on my health.

Tick tock.
In and out,
Back and forth,
I stumble and tumble.
It looms and haunts,
and so I fumble.

Tick tock.
I want out.

(Written at 3.09 am)

2007-05-15T11:11:00.000+08:00

Sunset

From animosity, a friendship

A friendship into a relationship,
A continuous movement forward it may seem
Is all but a dream

How we came to be
and not to be
is up to He.

As our story ends
two more begins with different bends,
of you and I in separate plays.

Two hands interlocked are now astray
(Extracted from my previous blog.)